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The top five most expensive hotel suites in the UK have been revealed and they certainly don’t disappoint in the swankiness stakes. Only the finest features, most sumptuous fabrics and very best views are allowed to grace these exquisite hotel rooms; with anyone lucky enough to enjoy a stay set to wallow in unimaginable luxury.

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The sad news for those of us who aren’t

a) a member of the Royal family (and we mean top level Royals, not distant ‘Made in Chelsea’ cousins)

b) the inventor of the iPhone/internet/insert vital modern day invention here or

c) Kimye

is that the most expensive hotel suites in the UK come, obviously, with a price tag out of our reach.

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At www.CRUISE.co.uk we think our readers deserve to experience the finest things in life so we’ve found our cruise ship equivalents of these hotel rooms.

You might be surprised to find that they cost considerably less, with the added bonus of visiting some of the world’s best destinations thrown in!

Now, where’s the number for your friendly cruise consultant?

5 – Royal Suite at The Goring

Cost: £8,400pn

What’s Posh: This suite is certainly fit for a King or Queen, boasting silks used at Buckingham Palace and even on the Titanic in 1912 (although, we imagine, not literally the same ones)! Another Royal connection is that The Goring was the hotel favoured by proud parents of the bride, The Middletons, as a Royal Wedding base. The views over Goring Gardens from the suite balcony are sure to delight any wannabe Princesses in waiting.

Cruise Comparable: So, despite having fabric décor in common, the Titanic is sadly out. The Queens Grill Grand Duplex on the Queen Mary 2 makes a great substitute though, if you fancy yourself a slice of the Regal lifestyle. The split-level Balmoral and Sandringham suites have all the standard palatial touches you’d expect, including marble bathrooms with whirlpool baths, personal butlers and private lounge and restaurant.

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4 – Royal Suite at Claridges

Best

Cost: £8,400pn

What’s Posh: This elegantly Regal red, white and blue suite rocks a French palace vibe with a grand piano formerly owned by 19th century composer Richard D’Oyly Carte (who refurbished the hotel in 1893) taking pride of place. If you like to tickle those ivories, or give Greensleeves a damn good go, this is the supersized suite for you.

Cruise Comparable: Hark back to almost the same era in the Owner’s Suites on the Sea Cloud. Ok, so this is a ship and not an actual cruise liner, so don’t expect to find a waterpark hidden among the sails. But for those who want a luxurious ‘times past’ experience, joining a Sea Cloud voyage would be a dream come true. The Owner’s Suites, designed in 1931, have the same olde worlde elegance as the Claridges Royal Suite

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3 – Infinity Suite at The Langham

Expensive

Cost: £14,000pn

What’s Posh: Boasting a more modern elegance the Infinity Suite at The Langham is so called because of its amazing infinity bath which also uses light therapy to relax guests further (just in case an infinity bath in one of the UK’s most luxurious hotel rooms wasn’t relaxing enough). Think shimmering metallic touches, plush velvets and mahogany so polished that you could check your reflection in it before dinner.

Cruise Comparable: The Reflection Suite on Celebrity Cruises Reflection liner has a similar feel of modern elegance meets sumptuous luxury. Dark woods and creams combine in the spacious living and dining area but just like at The Langham, the real star of the show in this Celebrity suite is the incredible bathroom where a diamond shaped shower cubical extends over the edge of the ship. Don’t worry the glass is tinted to spare your blushes when mingling with the folk on shore though.

2 – Shangri-La Suite at The Shard

Cost: £14,000pn

What’s Posh: Stay in this suite at its namesake hotel in The Shard and incredible 180 degree views of the city of London are yours (for a mere £14,000 per night, that is). Expect the usual luxurious touches that guests are sure to take for granted including 1,000 thread count linen, a marble bathroom with heated floor and gorgeous touches of Eastern design. Tech savvy guests can even sync the in-suite telescope to their smart phone to take up close digital photos of London’s most famous landmarks. Still, at that price, maybe we’ll make do with a spin on the London Eye instead.

Cruise Comparable: If you fancy a cruise suite with a view, consider the Haven Balcony Penthouse on NCL’s Norwegian Breakaway. From the balcony you’ll have incredible 360 degree views, made all the more tempting with the New York to Bahamas round trip itinerary. Imagine looking out to the New York skyline from such an amazing vantage point and get saving!

1 – Royal Suite at Mandarin Oriental

Cost: £18,000pn

What’s Posh: Hogging the top spot at an eye-watering £18,000 per night the Royal Suite at Mandarin Oriental is reserved for the incredibly wealthy. For your money you get your own butler, views from the balcony across Hyde Park and if the 18th Century Chinese paintings on the wall aren’t to your taste, your pick of original artwork from a local London gallery! Now, where did I put that lottery ticket?

Cruise Comparable:

Feel like pushing the boat out? Take a look at the Master Suite on the Seven Seas Voyager. This huge suite is more like a mini-house with lounge, dining room, two bedrooms and two bathrooms for guests to get lost in. Your butler will deliver you a newspaper each morning and canapés each evening and the cost of the cruise include a business-class flight upgrade from wherever guests are coming from to join the ship

So you see, there is a way for us mere mortals to get a taste of the high life (literally, in these top deck suites). And if these cruise comparables are still out of your price range, don’t despair – even in an inside cabin you’ll have an amazing time cruising. Just don’t expect the personal butler as standard (unless you’ve got your partner really well trained).